Beards. Unless you've had your head in a pile of shaving foam recently, you'll know that they're hot (on fellas, at least!) and we've decided there are 9 types of face fuzz…. So here it is – The Life Death Prizes Guide...
Grab the nearest fella by the short and curlies see which of the following he fits into!
The Bum Fluff
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OK, it’s hardly there at all. He’s trying, but it’s all very non-committal…
Think: Ed Sheeran
The Hollywood
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More than mere stubble, this beard is perfectly groomed and v-e-r-y sexy. This fella may not need to shave every day but he still takes pride in his appearance.
Think: Ben Affleck
The Tramp
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What a shame! He used to be a Hollywood hunk but he stopped bothering… Now it’s all a bit untamed (and we bet his nose hair will go the same way). Still, all is not lost – sit him on a street corner and he’ll make you a few bob.
Think: Brad Pitt
The Kingly![Jeremy Pivens as Mr Selfridge The Kingly Beard]()
He’s moved on a stage from the Hollywood, grown his beard a bit longer and added a cute little tache for us to twiddle, resulting a right-royal George V look. He keeps a nifty little comb in his back pocket.
Think: Jeremy Piven as Mr Selfridge
The Mr Grey
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Fifty shades of gorgeous… Why do us girls have spend a fortune on hair dye while the fellas just become ‘distinguished’? Who cares, this bearded bloke can tie us up any way he wishes…
Think: George Clooney
The Biblical![Russell Crowe The Biblical beard]()
Longer, wilder, woolier. Pretend you’re a hipster if you like but you know, deep down, you look like something from a biblical crowd-scene. Nice and warm in winter, we’re sure, but it’s very hard to carry off. And if it’s not carefully pruned, it reverts to being a Tramp.
Think: Russell Crowe as Noah
The Blessed
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Named in honour of the one, the only, the most roaringly bonkers beard-wearer, Brian Blessed. (Also popular with town-criers and real-ale drinkers.)
Think: about what else is caught up in there..?
The Santa
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You won’t spot this one very often – usually just once a year, around the end of December. And only then if you’ve been a very, very good girl. Long, white and beautiful.
Don’t even think: about kissing Santa Claus under the Christmas tree…
The Weird and the Wonderful
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OK, we give up! If It doesn’t fall into one of the other categories, chances are it belongs in here.
Think: Abraham Lincoln style chinny-chin-no-tache beards, Captain Jack Sparrow, Dumbledore…
For more fabulous beard action, check out these hirsute beauties!
Which category does your fella fall into? Let us know!
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